Major life transitions — empty nests, new careers, starting over later in life — can feel daunting, but they can also open the door to joy. Many women facing life changes create vision boards, collages of images and words that reflect goals and hopes for the future. And with billions of views on TikTok, the trend is gaining momentum. That’s why on this week’s Joy Beat, we’re exploring how women can navigate change and find joy in the unknown.
Amy Goober, a Massachusetts-based action coach and author, joined GBH’s All Things Considered host Arun Rath to share more about her work helping women turn their goals into reality. The following transcript of their conversation has been condensed for clarity.
Arun Rath: You reinvented your life, starting a new business in your 60s. I hear a lot about second acts when it comes to men, and it seems like there’s a lot less of that tailored to women. So, I want to hear not just what inspired you to make that leap, but also about what might be different or more challenging for a woman in that position.
Amy Goober: It’s so interesting. In my opinion, it’s very easy for women to care about, think about and pour all of their energy and resources into others. What’s harder for women is to think about themselves and what they want. It feels uncomfortable.
I love working with women because I’m always trying to sort of pull out of them: What do they like? What don’t they like? What have they done? What are the skills and traits from all the things they’ve done their whole lives that can help propel them forward?
I started my first business at 26. I was decorating cakes, and people said, “You should open a bakery.” And I said, “OK!” I had no bakery experience — I just liked decorating cakes — and no business experience. I left my job in advertising in Boston, went to Newton and opened up this cake bakery. [I] had it for seven years and then sold it to my employees, and they are still there. That was 33 years ago. It’s really amazing in the way that I think of how young I was, and yet, I did reinvent myself. And I have started more than one business since I turned 60.
I think that most women have created lives that they like or they love, so it’s not like they need an overhaul. But a lot of women, I found, were talking about things that they wanted to do, but weren’t doing them. So, I became an action coach to teach, coach and help women think about themselves and what it is that they want.
You know, I think that women, especially women with families, feel like once their kids go to college or are college-aged, their trajectory starts going downhill. Do you know what I mean? Like, they’ve put their whole lives around whether they have worked, or maybe they worked when they were raising their children, and then their children are kind of launched. I kfeel like it’s not a time to pump the brakes; it’s a time to hit the gas, to go and do.
One of my businesses is women’s travel. I take groups of women all over the place because these women want to travel, but they may not have someone to travel with, so they need that sort of push and that opportunity.
I just try to inspire women. They don’t have to start a business, but they should do something they’ve been talking about doing. And if not now, when? And why aren’t they doing it? And do they even know what they want to do? Those are the things that I try to help women with.
Rath: I just have to pause for a moment and just say: You were 26 years old, you’d made it in advertising in Boston, and you went and started a bakery. You’re amazing!
Having said that, talk about women who are on their second, third or whatever act and visualize it. Talk about the vision board and how that works.
Goober: A traditional vision board is when people sit around with magazines and try to envision things they want. To me, it’s sort of swishy in that way — swirly, you know, sort of like, “Oh, I like the beach. I’ll put a beach on there.” You know, “I hope to have grandchildren. I’ll put babies on there.” It’s more of an ethereal kind of activity.
But I created something called an “action board.” For the action board, what I want women to do is think about what they are going to take action on. Don’t just put something on there that you like; put something that you’re going to really try to make happen. If it’s a beach, are you going to go to the beach? And if it’s children, and you want grandchildren and you don’t have them or you’re never going to have them, then what about volunteering with children?
Again, I think women aren’t really raised to ask themselves what they want. It’s so important. I work with women all the time, and I say to them, “Well, what do you like?” And honestly, they don’t know. I have them do a whole exercise with two columns: “I like” and “I don’t like.” Little simple things: I like pink, I don’t like green. I like pizza, I don’t like steak. Little simple things to get them to start thinking about themselves.
Rath: What I love about this is that people might associate it with things like manifesting or new-agey thought like that, but it’s not really new-agey at all. We have plenty of data to show that people who apply these kinds of things … it’s not just writing down, “I want a million dollars.” It’s going out, making a plan and doing it.
Goober: Exactly. I am a big fan of the philosophy that life is kind of split into two areas: the things you can control and the things you can’t control. I think if we flip the script in that way, it’s energizing instead of depressing.
Using the empty-nester example, many empty nesters — I mean, I’m an empty nester — we’re just waiting for these kids to call us and come home. Let’s say you are waiting. What are you doing in the meantime?
What are all the things you’ve done in your life? If you’ve ever moved, if you’ve had to care for an ailing parent, if you’ve been through a divorce — all these things took so many skills and traits that we forget about. I like to say to people, “OK, when I was 26 and opened this bakery, maybe one of the traits was bravery, right? I mean, it was a brave thing to do. Am I no longer brave 40 years later?”
They don’t come and slurp your traits out in the middle of the night. I just try to remind women to look back at all they’ve done. Those traits are still inside you. Now, what are you going to do with them?
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