Susan Retik joined forces with another woman whose husband was killed on 9/11 to create Beyond the 11th. It’s a charity that helps widows in Afghanistan who have been afflicted by war, terrorism and oppression.
The World host Marco Werman speaks with Retik, who lives in Needham, about her feelings on the attack, the program she created and the annual bike ride, Beyond the Bike, that kicked off today to raise money for her organization.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.
Marco Werman: Tell us about your thoughts on what happened.
Susan Retik: Day one, I don’t know what the heck was going through my mind other than pure grief and survival, trying to figure out what our new life was going to look like, just complete overwhelm. And what I was met with was an enormous amount of support [from] obviously my family and friends and neighbors and community and even people around the country and even around the world. And I look back on that time period, and I think to myself, how on Earth did we get through this? But I really believe others’ support enabled us as a family to move forward. And when you ask about forks in the road, what I would say is when the US began talking about invading Afghanistan, I was seeing for the first time on TV and hearing in the news, for me personally, what it was like to be a woman in Afghanistan. And I was really struck by that. And I remember thinking, if the U.S. invades Afghanistan — which of course they were going to — there were going to be more widows and more people just like me. And I remember thinking, who’s going to support them? Who is their community? And so that was a fork in the road for me.
Werman: Yeah. And there was one story in particular on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” that you heard about the condition of Afghan women under the Taliban, especially widows. I mean, given what you had very recently experienced, the reaction might have been to avert your eyes from war and suffering. But you did the opposite. You leaned in. Why?
Retik: Oh, why? What a great question. Who knows why we do what we do? I just, I think in the moment, I just was struck by how devastating it was to be a woman in that part of the world. And I think feeling like a victim wasn’t something I was used to. And I think seeing other people who, in my opinion, just had it worse than I did, and I don’t want to minimize, it’s really important. I don’t want to minimize what we went through, because it was horrific. Those first few years, especially, were incredibly difficult. But at the same time, I was able to look across the world and see the plight of these women in Afghanistan who were not able to leave their home without a male relative, right? So, if you were widowed, how are you working? How are you earning an income? These girls who were not allowed to go to school — the conditions of being a woman were so horrific. And then, on top of that, being a widow, I just couldn’t avert my eyes. I needed to somehow reach out and do something. And I just think about how so many people reached out to me. I wanted to turn around and reach out to them.
Werman: Well, in 2003, you co-founded Beyond the 11th, a nonprofit organization with another mother widowed on 9/11, Patti Quigley. Your goal was to support Afghan women. Can you tell us more about the NGO?
Retik: When we first started, I just went to Patti and I said, “Hey, I want to reach out to these women. I don’t know what it’ll look like. What do you think?” And she said, “I’m all in.” And so together we learned about Afghanistan, we learned about what kinds of work were being done on the ground in Afghanistan already, and we decided pretty early on that we didn’t want to create a program ourselves. You know, we weren’t experts, so we wanted to find programs on the ground that had been there for a long time and knew the landscape. So we started working with a number of different organizations, one of which was CARE, and we focused on supporting programs that enabled women to learn a skill or trade and then earn an income from it. So one of the first programs we made a grant to was a poultry-rearing program where the women received chickens and an incubator so they could raise the chickens and eggs, sell the eggs, eat the eggs, and build a small business at home. And so, it was something they could do from home, and that was really important.
Werman: Then, three years later, in 2006, you traveled to Afghanistan and Kabul with co-founder Patty Quigley to meet Afghan widows. Describe that trip. What was it like, and how did it impact your view of what you were doing?
Retik: Oh yeah, I feel so fortunate that we had that opportunity. It was so scary to leave the safety of the United States and our small communities here and travel all the way over there to this war. It was super scary.
Werman: Yeah, there was a war going on.
Retik: There was a war going on. We definitely did our due diligence. We tried to blend in as best we could. We look back on videos — there was a documentary made about us — I don’t know that I was actually blending in, but at the time it felt like we were.
But it was an incredible experience to meet some of the women we were serving, learn their stories, meet their children, and get a sense of their homes. I would say they all lived in a one-room home with no electricity, no running water, really no furniture. They would have some pillows on the ground that served as seating, as well as where they and their kids would sleep, you know, a few pots and pans. But it was really very eye-opening. And so, someone can tell you someone’s story, but it’s very different to feel it, hear it, and witness it yourself. And I speak about how, although obviously we had translators helping us communicate, there was a part of it that we didn’t need translating because the emotion that they felt and that we felt was really incredible. And again, we didn’t really need that translated. Mother to mother, it was just clear.
Werman: Susan, you spoke about the support your family gave you in the days, weeks, and months after 9/11. I’m wondering how much starting this NGO and working with Afghan women helped you beyond that support.
Retik: Oh, gosh. I do feel like Beyond the 11th saved me. It enabled me to put my time and energy into something I was really proud of. It kept me super busy and took a lot of the focus off me, which was a good thing. That was really, really helpful for me. So I’m really proud of the work.
Werman: Of course, the US was in Afghanistan until the rapid and chaotic military withdrawal in 2021. How did that impact your humanitarian efforts?
Retik: Yeah, I am not a fan of how we withdrew all of our troops at one time. It was really a disservice to the entire country of Afghanistan and so many Afghan men and women who supported the US and were doing things to really help us. They got left behind, and it’s an unbelievably sad situation. And of course, all the strides made for women’s rights were quickly swallowed up. And sadly, they’re back to square one, basically pre-9/11 days. I believe Afghanistan is the only country in the world where girls are not allowed to go to school past the 6th grade. Again, women have to be covered from head to toe. They can’t laugh too — they can’t be heard loudly in public. You know, you can get in trouble just by laughing. If they hear a woman’s voice. A woman can’t see a male doctor because that would be obscene, apparently.
And also, women are no longer allowed to be doctors. So, let’s do the math here, right? I mean, it’s horrible. It’s really among the worst places in the world to be a woman. So, sadly, we weren’t really able to support the kinds of programs we had been supporting pre-2021 in the same way. And so we ended up working with Razia’s Ray of Hope; that’s another NGO. Yes. I knew Razia for many, many years. And after 9/11, she decided to start Razia’s Ray of Hope, and she created a girls’ school in Afghanistan. It was K-12 prior to 2021. Now it’s K-6. After the Taliban came back in 2021 and 2022, Beyond the 11th decided that we would work with Razia’s Ray of Hope, and they created a specific widows’ program so that the school they built is an all-girls school. Any girl who attends whose mom is a widow, we, Beyond the 11th, would support with a monthly stipend for that child and all the members of their family. And so we are in the process of raising an endowment so that that particular widows’ program can continue indefinitely. And I’m actually going to close down Beyond the 11th at the end of this year.
Werman: So, Beyond the 11th has kind of folded into, as you said, Razia’s Ray of Hope. You’ve also organized a commemorative bike ride. Beyond the Bike starts at the September 11th Memorial in Lower Manhattan and ends in Needham near Boston, where you live. It also raises money for Afghan women. Tell us how that works.
Retik: Yeah, so it’s very exciting. We have 42 cyclists who have signed up to ride from Ground Zero in New York City back to Boston. It’s three days, 250 miles. They are committing to the bike ride, and they are also committing to fundraising. So we’re hoping to raise enough money to complete the endowment we spoke about for Razia’s Ray of Hope. This will be the 8th time since 2004 that we’ve done this Razia-day ride. It’s incredibly empowering to stand at the North Pole, and we’re at Dave’s name, and stand there recognizing that, you know, it’s a place where such evil took place, and to stand there feeling empowered and to move forward and do something good in the world. And, you know, the only way to fight evil is with good. And so my family participates, and it’s an incredible community, an incredible three days.
Werman: Yeah, for sure. I mean, so the last year for Beyond the Bike. And as for Beyond the 11th, I mean, how do you feel about winding down an organization that you started, that you said kind of saved your life a couple of decades ago?
Retik: Yeah. I’m teary just even beginning to answer this. I’m proud of the work we’ve done, and it just — for my life, it just feels like I’m at an inflection point, like a next chapter. So I’m sad but also really proud of the work we’ve done. And because we’re leaving with this widows’ program in place, even though I’m stepping aside, the work will continue, and the women we’ve begun supporting will continue to receive ongoing support. And so, lots of mixed emotions, but I think mostly pride.
Werman: How are your children doing?
Retik: I think they’re doing incredibly well. You know, it’s a complicated life to grow up as a 9/11 child. Our youngest, you know, Dina, who I was pregnant with — that’s an incredible thing to be born into. But they’re all doing really well. I couldn’t possibly be any prouder as a parent. And I sure wish Dave were here to see these incredible people that they’ve grown into.
Werman: You would be a model for life’s need to go on, no matter what. You remarried in 2006, you had another child. But one doesn’t just pivot overnight. What has given you the most strength over the years?
Retik: Oh, gosh. I don’t know how to answer that. I would say love and other people and all the good. There’s so much good out there. And if you look for it and you lean into it, It just moves you forward. You know, what you focus on is what grows. And I tried to focus on doing something good in the world. And I have an incredible support system. And so together, it’s not a solo venture here. Together, we’ve moved forward.
