Most Christians around the world are marking Holy Week, as Jewish families are observing Passover — two sacred stories, rooted in suffering and sacrifice.
But this year, many are observing these holy days against the backdrop of images of war and human suffering in Iran. For faith leaders, it raises difficult questions: How do you speak about violence, grief and moral responsibility in a moment that’s already heavy and complicated?
Reverend Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery is a minister and licensed psychologist. She joined GBH’s All Things Considered host Arun Rath to talk about how spiritual communities are navigating these conversations. What follows is a lightly edited transcript of their conversation.
Arun Rath: We love your perspective as a minister and psychologist. I’m very curious off the top, when you’re looking at this particular Holy Week, does it feel different in the community this year?
Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: In many ways, it feels different. But I will say, if you just think about it historically, we’ve always had wars. We’ve always had things that we’ve been really, really concerned about as it relates to violence and uprising. I would say one of the things that pastors are responsible for doing is helping their congregations and the community navigate these sorts of things, particularly when they occur so frequently.
Rath: What are the types of conversations or sermons that are giving people comfort right now?
Curry Avery: I’m really glad you asked that question, because one of the things I’ve been doing is a series on the Beatitudes. I talk in those conversations about [how] Jesus did not sanction violence. That’s one of the things that we talk about a great deal in our church.
We talk about it from a biblical perspective; Jesus did not sanction war, so we need to understand that all of these wars are unholy. A “just” war, for instance. We talk about what it means to have a “just” war. Even in those cases, the idea is to have the appropriate attention and intention when you enter into war, but it still does not sanction violence. We really speak from a place of peace as much as possible.
Rath: You talked about the references to the Beatitudes, and obviously, the Holy Week story itself has a lot of suffering and redemption. I imagine that a lot of what you’re talking about ties directly into what’s going on for Holy Week.
Curry Avery: Absolutely. One of the things that we’ve been doing during this Lenten season is talking about Jesus and justice. Interestingly enough, on Sunday, I will be talking about the importance of still letting our light shine, even in the midst of darkness.
When you think about Jesus on the cross in the midst of darkness, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” So we have to be the ones to shine our light. It does not mean we don’t fight for justice, that we don’t engage in behaviors that will bring about equity. But how do we do it in a way that honors the God that we say we serve?
Rath: Talk about that a bit more. How do we do that?
Curry Avery: I think we look for ways in which we can engage peacefully. That’s one of the things that we do. Jesus talked about that a lot. We look for ways in which we can negotiate, but we also decide: How do we have strategies, like they did during the Civil Rights movement, to engage in peaceful protest while demanding our rights? How do we speak truth to power?
So, we talk about that, and we talk about being grounded, first and foremost. Before any of us can engage in the work of justice, protest and marching, we have to get right within ourselves. We have to be like, during the Civil Rights movement, they were trained. That’s one of the things that we do.
Secondly, we deal with our own grief around this. We talk about how difficult it is. Even as a pastor, I have conversations with God all the time, like “What are you doing, God?! Why can’t you just control all of this?” But then, I recognize my own agency. God expects me to do something as well.
Rath: You brought me naturally to the mental health perspective. That’s talking about processing these sorts of things at the individual level, and you’re talking about really helping people process their trauma and grief.
Curry Avery: Arun, I think one of the first things that we really have to do as religious leaders and as psychologists, but specifically, what I want to to say about religious leaders, is that we can engage in spiritual bypassing. That means that we expect that God will take care of everything, and we’ll pretend like it’s OK. We’ll say, “Well, it’s in God’s hands. God knows what God is doing.” Well, that’s spiritual bypassing!
We need to first acknowledge our grief, our pain and our own suffering around what is happening in the world, and then we need to sit with that grief. We need to process that grief as much as we can. One of the things that I use when I talk to people is a tool called “take a breath.” With that, sit in that space of breathing and meditate and ask for direction, for which way you need to engage in the conversation. What do you need to do in terms of actions?
And then, reflect on yourself. What do you need to do to bring your best self into the conversation, into this moral complexity? How do you stay engaged, even when you do not agree with other people and their policies? Then, try to adjust your narrative and your thinking. I’m a cognitive behaviorist, so we often talk about how important it is to adjust the way we think in order to change our actions.
The last two points I want to say are: Trust your ability to make decisions. Trust your ability to discern right from wrong. A lot of people just follow their religious leaders, and they don’t ask any questions. That’s what we’re seeing happening in the world right now. And then, handle the situation with care. That’s taking a breath and using the tools that you need to use to help you get to the next level of healing, so you can do the work that is required.
Rath: For those who are feeling overwhelmed right now, this week in the midst of all of this, what would be one thing you would want them to keep in mind?
Curry Avery: One of the things I would want them to keep in mind is that they have the power, and we have the power, to change what is happening around us. I think one of the reasons we get into a funk is because we think there’s nothing we can do. But when we tap into the sacred and the divine that is within us, we will be guided on what our next steps are, and we will be guided on what’s ours to carry and what’s ours to let go of.
