For this week’s edition of the Joy Beat, we turned to our listeners for nominations. But something happened that’s never happened before — two callers nominated the same person.
Caller 1: I’m calling about a gentleman whose name is Benjamin Diaz. He runs an organization called the Fatherly Justice Association. He is fighting for fatherhood. He’s fighting for them to be able to have justice in the court system. He’s done so much work. He shows up to court for everybody who needs help.
Caller 2: He helped me in court throughout this period of time as I’ve been fighting for custody of my kids. When I was unsure of which way to turn or who to talk to, he has advocated for me to stay cool, to stay calm, and to progress through the process the right way.
The man they’re talking about is Ben Diaz, this week’s nominee for the Joy Beat. He joined GBH’s All Things Considered host Arun Rath to discuss his journey in giving back to the community. What follows is a lightly edited transcript:
Arun Rath: I want to talk more about Fatherly Justice, but first off, let me get your fresh reaction to hearing those clips of tape. Was that a surprise?
Ben Diaz: It was. It brought tears to my eyes to hear some gratitude for what the Fatherly Justice Association is trying to do, and what I’m trying to do personally — to just change one man at a time.
It’s amazing to hear people just recognize what we’re trying to accomplish because it’s not just me; it’s many, many men behind me that are pushing me and the Fatherly Justice Association to succeed. As a village, we are progressing, and it’s amazing to hear.
Rath: Well, let’s dig in and talk about the Fatherly Justice Association. Tell us what the mission is and what you do.
Diaz: The Fatherly Justice Association was started up in April of 2023, but really, it started in 2017, when my daughter was born. I had a situation [in which] I was not allowed to be a part of my daughter’s life. I was told that I had to go to the family court system to be able to obtain parenting time, put my name on the birth certificate, and just overall trying to be a father.
Navigating that stuff, I realized it was affecting my mental health. It was affecting everything else. I didn’t have peer-to-peer support through that. So, that’s where [Fatherly Justice Association] came about. It was just an amazing opportunity to get down to the courthouse and really be able to represent an organization that has a main mission to get 50-50 legal custody of our children.
But the mission, on top of that, is also to have a peer-to-peer support system for these men and women. We have supported grandparents, mothers, grandfathers who are just trying to seek access to their children or grandchildren.
That’s what we’re doing — we’re just trying to give them the knowledge to know that there’s a court service center on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Suffolk County Probate Court and guide them there so they can get the paperwork done and coach them through all the rest of the stuff. But also, [we] get them resources for their mental health, for free games to go take their kids to Red Sox games, Celtics games, plays, or whatever resources we can find.
It’s just for our village — raising a child takes a village, but it also takes a father and a mother. I understand about domestic violence; I was raised in a domestic violence household. I lost my aunt to domestic violence, suicide and murder. I know the trauma of that, and we need to understand that.
But there is a situation [in which] there are a lot of lies being told in the family court system just to get that custody. We need to stop that. That’s not what’s in the best interest of the child. What’s in the best interest of the child is [having] both parents try to navigate how to raise that child. We lost track of that, and that’s what we’re trying to bring back. Let’s bring back the focus on the child.
Rath: You’re providing this kind of all-around support — not just guidance through the family courts and legal systems, but also mental health support. You’re talking about helping parents take their kids to games and do activities of enrichment … Ben, that’s a lot of stuff. How do you pull the resources together?
Diaz: I was lucky enough — and Fatherly Justice Association was lucky enough — to be able to win our first grant through the city of Boston, and it was through the Office of Black Male Advancement. At that time, all the resources I was able to gather was through there and my own personal journey. At the end of the day, all these resources that I got were things that I was able to gather for myself, and I’m now able to give to others.
[There are] great resources in the city of Boston and nonprofits that are trying to do great work. It takes us to come together to be able to get these resources so men can find these resources as well, right? Because there’s a lot of resources in Boston, just not a lot of resources focused on men.
Rath: You mentioned a village, and one of the first things you said when we started talking was crediting the team that you work with. Tell us about the team and the people who volunteer for Fatherly Justice.
Diaz: We have some young men who have been going through it themselves, and they show up on Tuesdays to the Zoom. They speak and find knowledge between each other. That’s the team — and then we have a couple of young ladies that really believe in what we’re doing. They’re single moms themselves, and they’re volunteering their time.
Rath: Given where you are and where you’ve been, I imagine you must see yourself in a lot of the people that you help. Is there a particular moment — or moments — when you had that feeling of, this is exactly why I’m doing this?
Diaz: Hearing the young man — and I recognize his voice — and knowing his struggle, just for him to pick up the phone and nominate me for this brought me to tears because I understand what he went through. I understand what he’s been going through. I put myself in every one of these men’s shoes that I help.
My soul goes into this organization because I know that I can be speaking to a man that I’m actually talking off a ledge today, so he’s not going to be doing something that is going to affect him not being able to see his children for the rest of his life.
Rath: Talking about your own journey. How are you right now? How are you and your daughter?
Diaz: I’m doing great! I get my daughter every other weekend. I have her every Thursday. I take her to music classes. We’re still back and forth in the court system just because, you know, it’s always been an uphill battle. But I like to tell these men that it’s not a race — it’s a marathon.
You just gotta learn how to condition yourself and take yourself to a happy place when you get somewhere where you’re just not feeling well at the moment. If you dig yourself into this hole and you become empty, you’re not going to fulfill anything, and you guys aren’t able to speak about the things that need to be done for this child so the child can have the best upbringing that you could possibly give them.
It doesn’t mean financially. It doesn’t mean physical things that you give them. It means love. It means emotional support. It means just being there. Taking a child away from somebody is taking the ultimate love. You never feel that type of love from somebody. That’s the seed that you planted in this world. That’s your legacy. That’s the last thing that’s going to be able to speak your name when you’re gone.
Do you have someone or something you’d like to nominate for the Joy Beat? Tell us! Leave a voicemail at (617)-300-BEAT [2328].
