Football season is back, but this is not a story about football. Yes, football is foundational to the facts, but the real story is not about the game, even though former Indianapolis Colt Quarterback Andrew Luck and New England Patriot Rob Gronkowski are — you’ll forgive me — major players.
Like millions of others, I’ve followed the intense watercooler discussions after Luck’s surprise announcement of his retirement from football, and Gronkowski’s recent comments about football-related head injuries. I was especially fascinated by the amount of hostility directed at Luck — the boos from formerly rabid fans, and at Gronkowski for confirming that he had been physically damaged by the game. The fierce debate seemed to start and end with a challenge to their manliness. Ironic, given that the burly athletes embody the image of masculinity long admired and often envied.
Yet both of these multi-millionaire players left piles of money on the table and publicly embraced a still not well-understood concept of prioritizing their own health needs first. The often-injured Luck and the frequently concussed Gronkowski walked away from the game they loved and excelled at and instead, boldly embraced self-care, what the Psychology Today website describes as a highly individualized and “continuous process of proactively considering and tending to your needs and maintaining your wellness.”
Calm down, snickering skeptics — those of you who hear the words "self-care" and relegate it to the group of current trends like hot yoga, vitamin IV drips, probiotic foods, and keto diets. The term self-care may sound a bit precious, but the concept is no fad. Medical doctors have long prescribed self-care regimens for the mentally ill, the elderly, and those suffering PTSD. Aisha Harris outlined the protocol’s history in an article for Slate, noting that self-care went mainstream right after the 9/11 terrorist attacks when so many of us needed tools to deal with devastating loss and heartbreak.
I first heard about self-care at a women’s conference, which makes sense since the women’s empowerment movement has been built on women reclaiming their physical and emotional health. I’ve also watched as self-care, the regimen and the phrase, has become gendered — okay for women to embrace, but nothing men should consider. And I’ve watched while men dismissed it and internalized their pain.
But two young men with millions of fans decided not to dismiss it and to let everybody know why. Thirty-year-old Rob Gronkowski shared, “I was aware of what was going on with my body and my mind, and that’s why I had to walk away.” And from 29-year old Andrew Luck, “I came to the proverbial fork in the road, and made a vow if I ever did again, I would choose me.”
Real men do take care of themselves: They put health before profits, go to the doctor, see a therapist. Practice self-care. No, this is definitely not a football story.
