It’s the last week of April, traditional spring-cleaning time, and I’m in a mad scramble to tackle the annual ritual. But I’m having a hard time getting to the actual cleaning, because I first have to excavate the mounds of stuff which has somehow migrated from where it is supposed to be.
How bad is it? Let’s put it this way: I could have saved those scientists celebrating the heretofore unseen and unphotographed black hole a lot of time. Everything in my house that’s not nailed down, it seems, has been sucked into that pitch-dark abyss — or at least everything I’m looking for at any given moment.
I finally realized that the task of reordering my physical space was not a job I could do alone. So, I turned to two experts — two titans who I knew would not only help find the myriad mislaid stuff, but also assist in returning the items to their proper places. Now it’s St. Anthony, Marie Kondo and me in an epic "Game of Thrones" battle against dust and clutter because, you know, summer is coming.
I learned about St. Anthony years ago when I mentioned to one of my work buddies that I’d lost something and was asking St. Jude to help me but not having much luck. “Wrong saint,” she said, and promptly taught me how to tap into the spirit of the patron of lost things. “St. Anthony, St. Anthony, look around, something lost must be found.” It may sound weird, but, well, miraculously, my power cord, the earrings I’d only worn once, and the critical receipt I needed turned up — I’d swear in the places where I’d already looked many times. Nothing makes me happier than to right away put my hands on what I need.
Which is how I began channeling Marie Kondo. Unless you’ve been living media-free, you know that Kondo is the international queen of decluttering whose bestselling book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and recent TV series is all about keeping only the things that “spark joy.” In her world, everything else needs to go. I’m now one of the millions letting go of all things joyless, and in the process, making regular runs to community recycling centers and Goodwill. And I’m gearing up for another book purge. Pretty much all books spark joy for me, but currently, my stacks have stacks. Too much. I’ll soon be joining the reported hordes inspired by Marie Kondo making donations to book and thrift stores.
I’m envious of all the people who purged and organized during the winter months. They are ahead of the game. I imagine them wandering through rooms of perfectly organized possessions, all sparking joy. Dust wouldn’t dare settle in those spaces — no doubt why it’s migrated to my house.
Since there is no Roomba in my immediate future, I’ll be busy making spring cleaning an ongoing activity for the next few days. Now that I’ll be able to see the floors, I want them shining.
