The inaugural Boerne (pronounced like Bernie) race is "500-ish" yards, or .3 miles.

The "um, 'race,'" as its organizerscall it, begins and ends with a free pint of beer. And at the halfway point, if you've burned through your carbs (.15 miles in), a doughnut and coffee hydration station is available for a carbo reload — right next to the costume contest and smoking area.

The entry fee was $25 before tickets sold out. All proceeds will go to Blessings in a Backpack, a charity organization that tackles food insecurity by supplying weekend meals for elementary school students who might otherwise go hungry.

The uber-underachieving VIP, however, could pay an extra $25 to be shuttled across the finish line in a restored 1963 VW bus. VIPs also get an even bigger medal, organizers say "because you are even more important!"

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