Boston Globe columnist Alex Beam was back on BPR Thursday for his regular “Open Mic” feature. Beam examined the practice of referring to oneself in the third person. He also discussed musicals with questionable ethnic stereotypes, and explained Bitcoin in 45 seconds.
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Questions have been edited and condensed. Beam’s responses have been edited where noted: (...).
Your new column posits that referring yourself in the third person may be the first sign of a narcissistic personality disorder.
I resolutely decided it cannot be, because Alex Beam is the best writer ever to live. (...)
SNL parodied former US Senator Bob Dole because he referred to himself in the third person so often. You’ve referred to yourself in the third person in this column, too.
That was a really obvious conceit when you’re writing a column about Ingmar Bergman and Rickey Henderson, who talk about themselves in the third person. (...) It comes out kind of funny, and slightly amusing, and I’m happy about that.
Ingmar Bergman?
I’m not an expert, but Bergman was obviously a total control freak. And he did refer to himself often in interviews in the third person, and he explained it’s because he’s so alienated from himself, he says he doesn’t really know what that person wants. (...) He slept with all his beautiful Swedish film star actresses, and married a couple I think — or certainly married Liv Ullmann. Apparently they lived in some remote cottage on an island. The literal line that I didn’t use was, 'He would never let me leave his side, except on Wednesdays.’
I read Hilary Mantel’s “Wolf Hall.” It was a big best-seller that used the third person so much. I thought I was the only idiot that couldn’t figure out.
You’re comfortably in the middle of a huge pack of idiots. (...)
What’s up with Newton North’s production of 'Thoroughly Modern Millie?’
This has become the sinecure for the punditariat. (...) Newton North has a wonderful drama program. They staged “Thoroughly Modern Millie,” a musical which most of us only remember as being an extremely mediocre movie starring Julie Andrews. (...)
I guess there are two characters in “Thoroughly Modern Millie” which are raging stereotypes of condescendingly ethnic Chinese. Like, Charlie Chan, the detective novels written in the 1930s. All kinds of evil depictions of the Chinese. (...) Inevitably, some Newton parents questioned — as is their right, even though this is true to the libretto of the musical which was written in 2002 — should we have allowed the delicate flowers of Newton, Massachusetts to be exposed to this hideous stereotyping of ethnic Chinese?
Turns out Brookline High also performed this earlier, but they changed some of the characters. Sanitized it. But it’s a slippery slope — all this stuff doesn’t carry over so well from previous eras.
Another fascinating example is “South Pacific,” which is unbelievably complex, a very popular musical originally starring Mary Martin. “South Pacific” derives from a career-making collection of short stories by James Michener called “Tales of the South Pacific.” They’re just really elegant and really worth reading. They confected this musical where the islanders are kind of primitive, and one of the main characters in “South Pacific” is a female islander who is lampooned, but it’s not actually true to what Michener wrote. (...)
One of my favorite subjects is, Who can you actually slur and vilify comfortably these days? Usually the Germans is a very good answer. Southerners is another good answer. (...) The third category, alas, which sits before you are WASPS. You can always target WASPS.
These plays and musicals reflect the attitudes of the time, for better or worse.
The solution of course is that you need to put a “trigger warning” on the theater program. When you walk in you say, You know, there’s going to be potentially offensive language. It’s a very modish idea.
They’re now doing this in college courses, for their reading content?
Colonial content, yeah. If you’re studying the 19th century they warn you that certain people held other regimes in colonial sway. Did you see that some people want a trigger warning on “Downton Abbey?”
For what reason?
“Disturbing rape scenes” in the latest season. There were no disturbing rape scenes, as far as I remember.
So Oberlin College has as warning for all reading content.
Well, the newspapers you and I write for should come with trigger warnings because there’s been, what, 280 people missing in a jetliner. That’s unbelievably disturbing if you allow yourself to think about it.
It’s kind of strange if you want to help people deal with this. What are you supposed to do, avoid these controversies?
I agree.
Based on these criteria, you can’t teach the Holocaust, can you?
(...) There’s an organization called Facing History and Ourselves, that would argue exactly the opposite. (...) We’re kind of just glossing over this, of course. Reading these articles, there is a huge ignorance factor here. The fewer things you want to learn about, the more you’re sheltered from. Colonialism is perhaps the defining event of the 19th century. It would explain a lot about where we are now, as would the Holocaust — perhaps the defining moment of the 20th century. To shelter yourself from reality is a very disturbing trend. (...)
Onto our new segment — where you explain complex issues in 45 seconds or less. This week: Bitcoin. Ready? Go.
(...) The Globe had an interesting story about how Bitcoin ATMs have finally appeared in Boston. Okay, what are Bitcoins? You thought I was unprepared? In fact, I am not unprepared. Bitcoins date from 2009, there’s been a recent Newsweek article proving to be fraudulent about who may or may not have invented them. In any case, they are a digital, essentially fictional, currency, however, that answers the really overriding need of our time — we need digital payment systems, all of which have kind of crapped out. Google Wallet has crapped out, PayPal has crapped out.
Bitcoin does offer the promise of a mobile, digital, useful payment system. Just don’t invest in it, I’m begging you.
If it’s a digital currency, what were these ATMs dispensing?
(...) Your CharlieCard — you put in a $20 bill, what is it dispensing to your CharlieCard?
Cash.
Cash, value, digital value.
So that’s what that is?
Yes. (...) Bitcoin — possibly, arguably, but definitely probably not — has the potential of being a broadly-accepted digital mobile payment system.
>> To hear the complete interview with Alex Beam, click below.
