Every season, the GBH Drama staff sit down to watch the latest and greatest in British dramas. And now, after years of waiting, it is my great pleasure to finally be here recapping season 2 of Sanditon! Romance! Drama! Sea bathing! It's all coming together: let's go.

When we left Sanditon last week, tension was rising in all sorts of places, and as we kick off episode four, that hasn’t changed at all. Our solider pals are out for a morning gallop on the beach when Captain Loverboy requests a private one on one with Colonel No Service. Why? Well apparently he has to get his boss’ permission to propose to Hurricane Heywood, a practice that I’m very glad no longer exists.

The boss from the film Office Space drinks coffee

Captain Loverboy is all smiles, but his pal Jilted is definitely not over the whole fake heroism thing, or maybe just caught some pesky feelings for the younger Heywood sister, because he’s not as supportive as he has been in the past. While they finish up their morning ride, they’re spotted by said siblings. Charlotte, again, asks her sister if she’s sure about this, given how little the pair actually know about each other, but Hurricane Heywood is resolute: he’s poetic, handsome, and brave, which is as good as it gets when you’re trying to find a husband in the early 1800s!

Charlotte: Yeah, yeah, he saved 50 people from drowning, I get it. But you know, sometimes you think you know someone and then hear horrible gossip that makes you rethink everything! For instance, that thing Colonel No Service said last episode.
Hurricane Heywood: I mean, why would we distrust the Colonel?

Why? Because he’s a bill-dodging gambler, and he’s dragged Tom back into the bad habit of hiding stuff from his family! Technically, Tom doesn’t outright lie to Mary when she asks about the bill, but he makes it sound like Colonel No Service was just too busy to bother with a money problem, instead of what actually happened, which is that the colonel steamrolled money and a deferment out of our Parker pal. At Mary’s urging, Tom resolves to speak to Colonel No Service that very day, but I suspect that won’t actually happen: Georgiana's just arrived with word from her father’s lawyer regarding Sidney’s trip to Antigua, and she does NOT look happy.

We soon understand why: some appalling jackass pretending to be a relative of Georgiana’s father tried to get his hands on her inheritance by suing the estate, claiming that she and her mother were morally unfit because of their race. Said appalling jackass (name still unknown) failed, but only because Sidney was there to fight the suit. Georgiana is, understandably, worried that other “relatives” might come out of the woodwork to try and get her money.

Mary: Well then we just have to show that you’re extremely morally fit.
Georgiana: Respectability politics? Really? If I was a white man this wouldn’t be a problem.
Mary: Look, I know it sucks, but there are always going to be people who try to pull you down. Don’t give them ammunition.

Across town, Horrible Ed lives up to his reputation and bribes a valet to get access to the Denham household mail pile, once again singling out Esther’s correspondence with Babs. No clue what he’s planning, but it’s definitely not good, I’ll tell you that! Also not good is the scene inside Lady D’s house, where Clara really seems to be struggling postpartum, but attempts to cover it up when Esther and Lady D arrive in the drawing room to see the baby. The kid, per Lady D, definitely has the family look and assertiveness, so she’s pretty content to stash Clara and the baby in her abandoned groundskeeper’s cottage, preferably ASAP: the matriarch is hosting her annual garden party the next day and doesn’t want any pesky illegitimate children and/or unwed mothers spotted by her guests. Then, the mail arrives, and Horrible Ed’s plan starts to take shape: once again, there’s nothing for Esther. Is he really planning to just pull a Dobby and hide her correspondence? Seems like a bad idea: if it didn’t work on Harry Potter, it sure as hell isn’t going to work on Esther, a grown adult!

Meanwhile, Charlotte arrives at Thornfield By The Sea and goes searching for Fun Housekeeper. Instead, she finds Augusta having a whale of a time playing away at the spinet.


A man frantically gestures as if to say "stop shhh be quiet"

Augusta: No, it’s ok: Mystery Dad unlocked and tuned it and said to go to town!
Charlotte: Oh, great! Now I can teach you to dance.

Speaking of artistic endeavors, Wannabe Byron is in the process of sketching Georgiana for the agreed upon painting. She’s… not having a great time. By contrast, Gross Sister, who I have been remiss in not renaming until right now, is surprisingly delighted by the nudes in the corner.

Single and Loving It: These are great! You could argue nudity is how God originally envisioned his human creation!
Georgiana: DON’T give him ideas!
Wannabe Byron: Ugh, I don’t want you to show your skin, I want you to show your SPIRIT! Emotional honesty! You’re displaying Miss Lambe; I want Georgiana.
Georgiana, frosty: You may call me Miss Lambe, bud.

I get where he’s coming from, artistically, but YIPES: you cannot be going around calling an unmarried woman by her first name! Later (much later, if the snoozing Single and Loving It in the corner is anything to go on) Wannabe Byron finally snaps. This is boring! She’s just as stiff as Lady D! Trying another tack, he asks Georgiana to tell him something true about herself. A happy memory, maybe? Or a dream?

Georgiana: UGH none of your business!
Wannabe Byron: AHA! See? Right there! You got mad! That’s what I’m talking about!

Georgiana, annoyed at giving the game away, grabs Single and Loving It and storms off in a huff. Meanwhile, over at the groundskeeper’s cottage on the estate, Esther has arrived with some baby stuff for Clara.

Clara: Why are you being nice to me?
Esther: I’m not, I’m being nice to baby George.

As if he knows he’s being discussed, Baby George starts crying again, which clearly overwhelms Clara. She calls for a nurse, but Esther offers to take the kiddo for a walk. While she enjoys the fresh air and baby smell, she’s spotted by Horrible Ed, who’s once again lurking in the corners like human mildew.

Horrible Ed: Is that my baby?
Esther: Well you said you have nothing to do with him, so.
Horrible Ed, FAKE: OMG I have a son! Can I please see him, just for a second? Awwww, he’s so cute and looks just like me!!

I don’t even know how to describe the malevolent vibes rolling off this jerk during this interaction, but suffice it to say I think he’s figured out about Esther’s fertility challenges and is enjoying twisting the proverbial knife.

In a much more pleasant moment at Thornfield By The Sea, Charlotte is in the process of teaching Augusta to dance (accompanied by the surprisingly competent pianist Leo) when they’re spotted by Mystery Dad.

Me, a huge fan of The Sound of Music who’s been hoping we’d get a version of Captain Von Trapp showing his kids how it’s done, dance-wise, this whole time:

A man vigorously puts on gloves

Charlotte: Oh, hey! I was teaching them to dance but unfortunately we need a gentleman.
Mystery Dad, letting me down: Ah, well bad news, I refuse to dance. Ever. But Augusta, I did want to let you know that I decided you can attend Lady D’s garden party with me.
Charlotte: Neat, I’ll be there too!
Mystery Dad: Oh whew, that makes me much happier to go!
Augusta: Forget about your weird tension, what am I going to wear!
Mystery Dad: Well, there are a lot of your aunt’s things in the east wing; go to town.

Look, I’m saying it now: if we don’t get the following by the time this season is out I’ll eat my gloves in a rage.

The protagonists from The Sound Of Music dance together

Speaking of dancing, over at the army camp Jilted is done dancing around the issues he sees with his friend’s courtship of Hurricane Heywood. Is Captain Loverboy really ready to propose? He’s claimed to be in love before!

Captain Loverboy: This is different! Can’t I grow up and realize what I want in a wife?
Jilted: Sure, but are you what she really needs in a husband? You’ve lied to her, man!
Captain Loverboy: Who cares? It won't impact our future!
Jilted: Uh, it sure will if she finds out!

Now look, is Captain Loverboy technically probably right that the odds of Hurricane Heywood finding out he embellished his bravery are pretty slim (after all, they don't have social media). Sure. But it’s the principle of the thing! Team Jilted, all the way.

Back at Lady D’s, Esther attempts to return the now sleeping Baby George to Clara, who is just not feeling it.

Esther: You only seem to hold him in front of Lady D! It’s like you’re trying to convince her you’re all about motherhood.
Clara: Look, maybe I don’t want to fuss over him all the time!
Esther: But how!? He’s so cute! If he were mine I’d never let him go. You’re lucky: some people would give anything for a baby.
Clara, starting to figure out what’s up: Oh. So that’s why you were crying when he was born. Fate sucks sometimes, huh?

Yeah, it sure does. Man, I still don’t trust Clara farther than I can throw her, but I would like to think we’re entering a new era of female solidarity here. Wouldn’t that be nice? Anyway, while that’s happening, Tom is trying in vain to show Colonel No Service his plans for the permanent Sanditon barracks.

Tom: … look, I also have to talk to you about something tough. I’m sure this must be an accident, but your guys are running up a LOT of debt in town. I’m starting to get complaints from our local shopkeepers, and as you can imagine I can’t have them going out of business.
Colonel No Service, zeroing in on Tom’s weakness like a heat-seeking missile: Every gentleman has debts. Kind of rude to bring that up! Why don’t you pour us a drink instead? Totally separately, is Charlotte still working for that Mystery Dad?
Tom: Uh, yeah. She’s there right now.
Colonel No Service: Bummer. I’d hoped she’d be sensible.

Somehow I feel like not quitting her job for no reason actually is sensible, but go off, I guess. Over at Thornfield By The Sea, the girls are starting to look at Leo’s mum’s dress collection, which Augusta remembers as sort of a central part of her aunt’s mystique. While she reminisces, she drops the very relatable fun fact that even when the family used to go to London, Mystery Dad used to stay behind; apparently he’s just always been a bit of a loner.

Augusta: Hey, Char? Do you think I’m ready for society? I know I can be kind of a pain in the ass, what if I mess up?
Charlotte: You won’t! I have faith in you.
Augusta: Well, I guess this is your whole job so if I do mess up I’m blaming you. But let’s not count our party chickens until they hatch: wouldn't put it past Mystery Dad to decide not to attend at the last minute.

And in case this nice bonding moment wasn’t enough for you, Leo then goes over to hug Augusta because “this is my mother’s dress, so in a way it’s like hugging her.’

A woman tries not to cry, but ultimately fails

Dry your eyes, friends: it’s time for Lady D’s party, and she’s gone completely buckwild with the patisserie, leading me to posit a new conspiracy theory that her house is actually where the Great British Baking Show films. While she samples the sweets, everyone else gets into their finest fripperies for the occasion. The receiving line gives us all a chance to see where today's battle lines have been drawn. Horrible Ed? Uninvited! The sugar boycott? Also uninvited! Single and Loving It assumes this is some kind of mistake, but of course Georgiana, who’s familiar with Lady D’s particular brand of passive aggressive party food from last season, isn’t fooled.

Charlotte: Ugh, why is she being such an ass?
Georgiana: She’s trying to keep me down. She thinks I’m a hypocrite, but it’s not like I don’t know all the suffering that went into my fortune! That’s exactly WHY this boycott matters to me!

Too right! But before G can say anything, everyone’s distracted by the stranger in their midst: yes, Mystery Dad did indeed attend the party, as promised. And it doesn’t escape Georgiana’s notice that her friend’s employer is both more smiley (at Charlotte) and more dishy than a certain someone (also Charlotte) had led her to believe. Also smiley and dishy? Captain Loverboy, who has bounded off to get a drink for Hurricane Heywood, leaving her alone with a grumpy Jilted.

Hurricane Heywood: Have you always been so cynical? Never been in love?
Jilted: Uh, no, and proud of it! I’m just a normal soldier!
Hurricane Heywood: Nah, you’ve got a heart, I know it. And based on the face you just made, YOU have a crush on someone! Who??

And then, in a surprise to exactly no one, he starts describing her vaguely enough that she doesn’t figure it out, even after he says he can’t tell this mystery woman he’s into her because she’s in love with someone else.

A woman says "It's kind of obvious."

No time to dwell on Jilted’s pining: Mystery Dad is introducing Augusta to Lady D, who astutely suggests he keep her away from the soldiers before asking if Mystery Dad will participate in the archery competition.

A woman exclaims "Wait, what?"

Apparently, Mystery Dad’s father used to win every year! And while he insists he’s nothing like his dad (something I want to know more about TBH) I still have hopes he’ll compete. Hopes that suddenly seem more likely to come to fruition as soon as Mystery Dad claps eyes on a certain Colonel No Service across the party. And unlike men in other Austen adaptations, these two are perfectly willing to be mad at each other in front of the love interest, so Colonel No Service heads right over to say a weird hello.

Mystery Dad: Oh, had no idea you know my governess.
Colonel No Service: Yeah… we’re friends.

A man makes an awkward face

Mystery Dad: Friends? Huh. Well, sorry, gotta run.

As soon as he drags Augusta away, Colonel No Service corners Charlotte. Why didn’t she listen to him? Thankfully, Charlotte isn’t a pushover: it’s possible that Mystery Dad has changed (or even that he was never a bad guy in the first place and Colonel No Service is a no-good liarpants, which she’s too nice to say, but I’M certainly not). Colonel No Service makes a big show of promising to be nice to Mystery Dad for Charlotte, but I’m not buying it, and TBH I’m not sure she is either. And speaking of doubting the colonel, Tom finally tells Mary that said gentleman is being weirdly cagey about paying off the soldier’s debts. She doesn’t have a solution, but at least Tom’s being honest, so that’s a half win.

Later, Mystery Dad follows up with Charlotte, but in that unhelpful weird way that male protagonists have of being upset and not explaining why.

Mystery Dad, somehow more dramatic than Augusta: If I’d known you were so close to that guy I never would have come!
Charlotte: Look, dude, whatever the backstory is here can you guys get it together?
Mystery Dad: What do you know?
Charlotte: Just that obviously you don’t get along. If he can be cool for one day, you can too: do it for Augusta!
Mystery Dad: Ugh, fine. For Augusta.

Across the estate, Horrible Ed uses the party as cover to go try and bother Clara. She tells him to get lost, but he persists, dragging her outside to ask her to marry him. Clara, I am begging you, say no! Thankfully, even though she’s struggling, Clara still knows how to play the game, so she pushes for clarification: Horrible Ed’s been trying to pretend this isn’t his kid. What changed?

Horrible Ed: I’m a papa now! I want my kid to grow up in good circumstances!
Clara: Hmmm, I see. And if we marry, he becomes the next male heir.
Horrible Ed: Yeah, you get it: it would be the best thing for him! And, I guess, side benefit, it’s also good for us.
Clara: There it is: the selfish motive! And you’re forgetting Esther: Lady D still wants to leave the bulk of her money to her.
Horrible Ed: Oh, don’t worry about that.

A man says "Nope. Don't like that."

Back at the party, Tom is for some reason talking up Colonel No Service’s bravery against Napoleon to Charlotte. Thankfully, Arthur is also there to remind everyone that Napoleon was a short king, and therefore not that scary. I get that this is meant to put Colonel No Service in his place, but AS a short and scary person, hey!

Colonel No Service: Ah, war. Horrible but a wonderful slice of humanity.
Charlotte: Whatever you say, dude. At least you have good colleagues… like Captain Loverboy!
Colonel No Service: You must mean Jilted. Captain Loverboy is too young to have even been to battle yet!

Secret’s out! Over at the archery range, Captain Loverboy tries to turn down a crack at the competition in favor of going on a walk with Hurricane Heywood to “ask her something important,” but Jilted, who still doesn’t approve, forces him to join by talking up Captain Loverboy’s skill. Hurricane Heywood, of course, correctly deduces why Captain Loverboy wants to take that walk, and is delighted.

Hurricane Heywood: Jilted, seriously, can’t you be cool about this?
Jilted: No :) He doesn’t know you; you’re not some fancy pants lady, you’re a farmer’s daughter.
Hurricane Heywood: Oh, I get it, so I’m not good enough for your friend? I knew you were rude but I didn’t know you were a horrible, classist jerk!

Whoops. That could have gone better! Over in the groundskeeper’s cottage, where another proposal is being mulled over, Horrible Ed explains his dastardly plan re: Esther: since her main weakness is thinking she’s unlovable, he hopes to make her believe Babs doesn’t love her anymore, and then convince Lady D that the rejection has driven Esther mad. Horrible Ed even figures out about the infertility issue, with Clara’s unwitting help. She tries to argue that Esther deserves better, but Horrible Ed is persistent and persuasive: Esther doesn't like Clara that much! She’s going to get resentful and abandon Clara out of spite! As usual, Horrible Ed's lies are annoyingly very convincing, and Clara seems to be buying it.

A man says "this conversation has taken an unfortunate turn."

Back out at the party, Charlotte and Georgiana corner Hurricane Heywood and tell her the news: Captain Loverboy is full of crap. He can’t have been a big hero at that battle; he hasn’t seen battle at all! Hurricane Heywood, still smarting from her conversation with Jilted, isn’t in a listening mood: Captain Loverboy wouldn’t lie, and Charlotte is just bitter because she’s single. Georgiana tries to help, but only gets added to the bitter single category for her troubles. Not ideal!

Annoyed, Charlotte ends up chatting about it with her boss: why is her sister such a stick in the mud? Mystery Dad basically tells her that unfortunately that’s just kind of how young ladies can be sometimes (unhelpful) and then gets weird about his lack of party skills. have to say, so far the most relatable character on the show! Lady D, who of course notices any potential romantic pairings except the unsavory ones right under her nose, is quick to gossip about this cute convo with Colonel No Service: looks like SOMEBODY has a rival… for the archery competition, natch.

Charlotte and Georgiana go head to head in croquet. Arthur points out G’s skill, to which Wannabe Byron hilariously points out he’s forced to agree, given that she’s armed.


A woman smiles and says "I'm going to murder you."

Arthur: So I hear your art project isn’t going well, huh?
Wannabe Byron: See, Arthur, not everyone is as self actualized as you, you beautiful soul.
Georgiana: I’m self actualized! I have self-actualization coming out of my bottom! You are the WORST.

Honestly, any confusion Georgiana has about her identity is supremely understandable given, well, everything. While the croquet continues, Mary insists that Tom go introduce her to Mystery Dad, since he’s still being a weirdo introvert and avoiding everyone at the party. After Tom capitulates, they all engage in one of those awkward conversations where everyone is aggressively misunderstanding each other

Mystery Dad, trying to figure out who brought his enemy to town: So YOU brought in the soldiers, huh?
Tom, trying to get Colonel No Service over a barrel so he HAS to agree to the permanent barracks and pay off his debts: Can’t take all the credit, but I’m working on negotiating a permanent setup, right Colonel?
Colonel No Service, trying to snub Mystery Dad and continue his freeloading ways at the same time: Negotiating might be taking it a bit too far: I still don’t know if a permanent setup is a good idea.

Everyone’s confused and annoyed, but before this can escalate, poor Augusta, who’s been strapped into her corset much too tightly, passes out and is caught by the nearest available man, Colonel No Service. Obviously, Mystery Dad hates this. Once they rouse Augusta, Charlotte takes her inside to fix the shapewear so her charge can breathe, and Augusta uses the opportunity to lob a gossip grenade into the situation: hasn’t Charlotte noticed that a certain someone is into her? Augusta means Colonel No Service, but if I’m not mistaken, Charlotte might just have been hoping that the certain someone in question was actually Mystery Dad. Wardrobe malfunction fixed, they head outside where the assembled crowd prepares for the cake cutting. Will Arthur do it, since he was so keen to butcher Lady D’s pineapple last season? No: he’s supporting the boycott. Lady D tries to undermine the boycott, again, but Georgiana takes the opportunity to take a stand.

Georgiana: We’re going to continue the boycott until every enslaved person is freed. I get that you think I’m a hypocrite because my money came from a plantation run on the backs of enslaved people. I can’t change the past, but I can use my position to change the future. So I guess if anyone here is cool with people being kidnapped and forced to work in horrible conditions for no pay, enjoy the cake. But I won’t.

A woman jumps up from behind a desk and pumps her fist in excitement.

And while she shoots Wannabe Byron a look that says “who’s not self actualized now, b*tch?” everyone else at the party turns in their cake plates in solidarity. Across the garden, Colonel No Service uses the hubbub as a chance to sidle up to Mystery Dad and creepily comment on how much Augusta resembles her aunt.

Colonel No Service: When she fainted earlier it was almost like having your dead wife back in my arms again. Anyway, toodles!

Holy CRAP, he just leapfrogged right over charming rake and into dangerous cad territory! I can’t say I didn’t see that coming, but YIKES. Across the lawn, Wannabe Byron approaches Georgiana to tell her he’s VERY into her when she’s feisty (dude, same) and that he’d love to capture her vibe right now.

Georgiana: Well, you have art supplies, right? Let’s do it. But not here; I don’t want anyone to watch.

And with a bro nod to Arthur and a stolen bottle of wine, they slink off so he can draw her in private. Breaking the rules?

A man says "no I'm horrified!" but his smile says the opposite

While all this is going on, Captain Loverboy has taken Hurricane Heywood out into a rowboat so he can ask her to marry him in the most romantic setting possible. That turns out to have been a bad idea: Hurricane Heywood, overjoyed, jumps to her feet and promptly falls right into the pond, and because we require peak drama, our heroine cannot swim. Unfortunately for her, NEITHER CAN CAPTAIN LOVERBOY, apparently, because instead of rescuing her, he just stands in the boat yelling for help!

Luckily, Jilted was being kind of a weirdo sore loser nearby, and so he’s the one that Hurricane Heywood finds soaking wet on the shore next to her when she comes to. She’s a smart cookie, so she asks the pertinent question right away: why didn’t her beloved come save her ass?

Back at the party proper, Lady D, deprived of cake, decides to stir the pot: won’t Colonel No Service show everyone how it’s done on the archery range? Determined to be a jerk, he tries to get Mystery Dad to compete, and it’s finally Lady D who convinces our brooding friend that it would be ungentlemanly not to. While they prepare to shoot, Mary asks Tom why he isn’t forcing the colonel to just pay up already!? Of course, Tom can’t explain the whole “I owe him a lot of money” thing, so he heads off to go and find Arthur and sulk. At the range, Colonel No Service attempts to win AND make eyes at Charlotte/Augusta (gross). Thankfully, Mystery Dad is quite a good shot too, so victory is far from assured for the colonel. Before they can finish, Horrible Ed oozes into the garden to tell his aunt (and Esther, by association) that Clara said yes to his proposal.

A woman points at someone, says "Ew" and nods.

Meanwhile, the other proposal of the day has taken a turn for the worse. Hurricane Heywood, having deduced that Charlotte was right about the whole fake war hero thing earlier, tells her newly minted (and probably about to be newly unminted) fiance to stop lying and come clean: was anything real? Captain Loverboy, of course, says his feelings were very real, but Hurricane Heywood isn’t having it. She grabs her stuff and storms off, leaving the two former bros on the shore, but not without also turning her ire on Jilted, who knew his friend was lying and didn’t say anything (fair point!).

Back at the groundskeeper’s cottage, Esther corners Clara: what was she thinking?

Clara, apparently has gone all in: We’re thinking of our son! His future!
Esther: I know Horrible Ed a lot better than you, and I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to be stuck with him. You deserve better.
Clara: If you care about my son, you should be happy: he’ll have a name!
Esther: And money, presumably? Lady D will figure this out just like I did.
Clara: You’re wrong: Horrible Ed has become a good person!

And again, the argument is interrupted by Baby George crying. Esther tries to get Clara to step in, but she can’t: Clara just doesn’t think she can be any of the good things a mother is. Honestly, this makes me very sad for everyone involved (with the obvious exception of Horrible Ed). Esther, who’s a better friend than we could have imagined last season, talks Clara down, helps her connect with her baby, and tells her she’s a better woman than she thinks.

Meanwhile, the archery competition is continuing to heat up. Colonel No Service, doubling down on being weird, decides to cede his last shot to Charlotte: why should the men have all the fun, am I right, ladies? She tries to decline, but doesn’t really have a choice: manners dictate that she kind of has to participate. While these shenanigans are going down, Single and Loving It runs up to Mary: she can’t find Georgiana anywhere!

No need to fret: Georgiana is just sitting elsewhere in the garden being drawn by Wannabe Byron, and opening up a little about her past. While he sketches, she tells him about Otis, her lost love from season 1, who it turns out introduced her to the sugar boycott. She explains that part of the reason she’s so reluctant to let her guard down is that she was hurt so badly by their breakup (VERY understandable!).

Wannabe Byron: So why are you still dreaming of him then?
Georgiana: I don’t have anyone else yet.

And then, reader, he reaches out and grabs her hand! It’s weirdly sweet! And then, while they’re both RIGHT at the apex of a kiss lean, Single and Loving It and Mary run over and ruin the moment. Now look: is that probably for the best given the romantic mores of the time? I guess. But I also just want Georgiana to have some fun, you know?

You know who IS having fun? Charlotte. Colonel No Service tries to do that thing where he stands behind her and shows her how to shoot, but Charlotte, as we may recall, is a country girl: she knows her stuff. Confidently shaking him off and taking aim, Charlotte sinks an arrow into the dead center of the target, to the shock of the assembled crowd.

Colonel No Service: Wow, so glad you’re on my side!
Mystery Dad, rising to the bait: You know, not sure I want the colonel to have an unfair advantage. Charlotte, wanna shoot for me too?

Charlotte, despite clearly not wanting to be a pawn in this archery contest that CERTAINLY isn’t a stand in for anything else, no siree, agrees. But alas: her second shot is BAD. Lady D declares Colonel No Service the winner, and he uses it as an opportunity to be quietly gross to Mystery Dad, literally saying “all’s fair in love and war, but then again I’ve known both and you’ve known neither.” It’s probably no surprise that Mystery Dad’s response is to scoop up Augusta and get the heck out of there. I have to hand it to Colonel No Service: I didn’t think he could get any more horrible, but apparently I was wrong. Charlotte follows her boss, which gives him an opportunity to attempt to forbid her from ever talking to Colonel No Service again. Look, do I get why he feels that way? Yeah. But Charlotte is completely right to tell Mystery Dad he can’t tell her what to do!

Charlotte: You might pay my wages, but you can’t order me to do anything! You don’t own me!

Hard to argue, so Mystery Dad doesn’t: he just hops in the carriage in a huff and leaves. Not ideal! Will he ever explain what happened so Charlotte has all the facts? Will Clara unhitch her wagon from Horrible Ed’s before it’s too late? And how the heck is Hurricane Heywood going to recover? I for one can’t wait for some answers when we return next week for episode five!

Episode 1 recap: guess who's back
Episode 2 recap: shady characters, sedition, and a spinet
Episode 3 recap: Centaurea cyanus