I was one of the millions uttering a collective gasp hearing the news of Kobe Bryant’s death. As most folks know, I’m not a big sports enthusiast, but even I was aware and admiring of Kobe’s prowess on the court, his driving work ethic and his commitment to giving back. His legacy is epic, and it is tragic that his life was cut short just as he was transitioning into an elder statesmen role beyond basketball.

But I’ll be honest. The part of his legacy with which I was most familiar — the thing that always came to my mind and for me overshadowed Kobe’s awards and triumphs — is the quiet part a lot of people don’t want to say out loud. In 2003, a 19-year-old Colorado hotel employee accused him of rape. She filed charges but refused to testify in court and the case was dropped. Kobe said publicly he did not pay her to drop the case and added, “I do not question the motives of this young woman. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did.”

The young woman later filed a civil suit that was settled out of court. Kobe went on to repair the damage to his then two-year-old marriage to Vanessa, build a stellar professional reputation and become a dedicated family man. In the years that followed, this troubling incident faded from collective memory. I’ll bet many of his younger fans probably don’t even know this history. But I know. I can’t erase that young woman’s accusation. It’s hard to reconcile the Kobe many have been speaking about in reverential tones these last few days with this past.

I’ve been torn by conflicting feelings. As a woman, I feel the need to stand up for a 19-year-old whose story has been buried. But I also feel a responsibility as a Black woman. I do not want to drag down a Black man who in the eyes of so many has more than made up for any past wrongdoing. During these few days since his death, I’ve cried with his close friends and longtime co-workers as they offered touching tributes and heart wrenching remembrances of Kobe the basketball phenom, the loving father, a champion of social justice.

While I am not surprised that his close circle did not talk about the sexual assault case, only a few in the media have referenced it. Washington Post reporter Felicia Sonmez did and was temporarily suspended after posting a link to an article about the case on the very day he died. There have been robust Twitter exchanges about the sexual assault, but traditional media analysts have couched their brief mentions in vague euphemistic language, as in, “Kobe had some personal problems early on,” or “Kobe did not live a perfect life.”

But there is a woman who will be 36 years old this year who likely can never forget her connection to him. What’s more, the #MeToo movement has propelled a cultural shift around issues of sexual assault that will not allow her voice to be silenced, even in the midst of national grieving.

I know I am not alone in trying to figure out how to place the sexual assault in the context of Kobe Bryant’s entire life. I especially note the Black women who knew Kobe and overwhelmingly praise him, even as they acknowledge their own nagging feelings. I wonder if he had talked to his daughters about that moment in his life and the young woman at the center of it. And I wonder what the guy who proudly declared himself a “GirlDad” might have said to his daughters about how he hurt someone else’s daughter.

If he was the man those who knew him best say he was, he did not skip over this painful chapter in his life. And neither should we.