Overheard at one of my favorite breakfast spots — a civil conversation about incivility. Passionate but polite disagreement about how each of the breakfast buddies might have responded if White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders had ended up in a restaurant they owned.
One of the women wondered aloud, “I know I could throw her out, but should I?” They hashed out the questions that many of us have asked ourselves — whether it is ever right to confront Trump administrators who are out and about in public but enjoying private time. Whether two wrongs ever make a right. And whether the only way to respond to a Commander in Chief whose trademark is insult and personal attack is to answer back the same way. And what to make of Congresswoman Maxine Waters’ call for aggressive public shaming of Trump administrators?
Their animated but civil discussion ended at the same place I eventually landed in the week since the owner of Virginia’s Red Hen restaurant asked Sarah Huckabee and her group of family and friends to leave.
Furious and frustrated that I’m supposed to be polite when some of the policies of this administration are anything but. It feels phony to speak up against a zero tolerance policy separating migrant children from their parents, but then bend over backwards to push back in a nice way against the brutality of those actions.
Still, I’m uncomfortable with Congresswoman Waters’ call for assertive public confrontation of all Trump administrators, urging Americans to “get out and create a crowd” and “let them know they are not welcome anywhere, anymore.” It’s not that they don’t deserve to be called out, but in these volatile times — I worry that someone who is even angrier than me will turn from shaming by shouting to shaming by shooting.
And then there’s the President: President Trump tweeted a threat to Congresswoman Waters to “be careful what you wish for.” I’ve not heard much denouncement of that. And I’m sick of the hypocrisy, which holds only those opposed to this President’s policies to an expected standard of civility.
Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao yelled at protestors outside her home to “leave her husband alone,” but I remember that she and other conservatives said nothing when South Carolina’s Senator Joe Wilson screamed, “You lie” right to former President Obama’s face.
I predict the poisonous public discourse fed by Huckabee’s incident will ratchet up even more as the migrant children remain caged, the travel ban is implemented, and Justice Anthony Kennedy’s impending retirement makes clear what is at stake as he is replaced. Underneath the rabid rhetoric are real life and death issues.
Former First Lady Michelle Obama has talked often about “going high when they go low.” I admire the concept, but frankly right now I’d prefer to channel Senator Maggie Hassan’s intern — recently suspended for shouting an expletive as President Trump walked by. I understand the rage. I feel it, too. Having said that I know all too well that when everybody is shouting nobody is listening.
