June 14, 2010: Mr. Ed: Dead: And Other Obituaries of the Most Famous People Who Never Lived

>> WE ARE SAD TO REPORT

TONIGHT THAT MR. ED IS DEAD.

SO IS SCARLET O'HARA WHO IT

TURNS OUT DID GO HUNGRY

AGAIN.

AND EDWARD SCISSOR HANDS IS

DEAD TONIGHT AT 57 HAVING

MADE THE FATAL MISTAKE OF

ENTERING THE BOSTON MARATHON

AND RUNNING WITH SCISSORS.

THOSE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE

FICTIONAL OBITS COMPILED IN

THE NEW BOOK MR. ED DEAD AND

OTHER OBIT WARES OF THE MOST

FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO NEVER

LIVED AND CO-AUTHOR BARRY

NELSON IS HERE.

WELCOME.

>> FIRST OF ALL WE HAVE TO

MENTION THAT YOU DO WORK AT

GBH BUT THAT IS NOT WHY WE

BROUGHT YOU ON.

WE BROUGHT YOU ON BECAUSE WE

THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY EXCEPT

YOU HAVE THE NEED TO KILL

THE PILLBURY DOUGHBOY.

AND SCARLET O'HARA.

WHY.

>> WELL, MY WIFE AND I WERE

TALKING AND READING OT BIT

WEARS AND REALIZED THAT IS

THE FIRST THING WE TALKED TO

AND REALIZED WE TURN MOOD

OUR PARENT APPROXIMATES.

YOU GET TO A CERTAIN AGE AND

START READING THOSE RIGHT

OFF THE BAT.

THEN YOU START TALKING THAT

YOU LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT

PEOPLE THROUGH THEIR

OBITUARYS.

YOU LEARN THEIR LIFE

STORIES.

PEOPLE GET STORIES WHEN THEY

ARE REAL, NONFICTIONAL

PEOPLE.

WHY ISN'T IT THAT SOMEONE

HASN'T DONE OBITUARYS FOR

FICTIONAL PEOPLE.

THEY SORT OF LIVE IN OUR

MINDS AND IN OUR LIVES.

SO SHE SAID YOU KNOW, CALL

TOM.

I THINK YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING

THERE.

>> TOM, YOUR COLLEGE FRIEND,

THE CO-AUTHOR.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

SO I CALLED TOM AND WE

STARTED WRITING OBITUARIES.

>> HOW DID HE DECIDE WHO YOU

WERE GOING TO KILL?

>> YOU KNOW, IT WAS A REAL

PROCESS.

WE WENT THROUGH AND JUST

TRIED TO THINK OF ALL THE

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS WE KNEW

FROM HIGH SCHOOL READING,

HOLDEN KAUF-- CAULFIELD, FOR

INSTANCE, FROM TELEVISION,

STAGE, SCREEN, WHAT HAVE

YOU.

THEN WE COMPILED A LIST AND

WE DID THIS ALL VIA GOOGLE

DOCS SO WE WERE ON SKYPE

EVERY NIGHT WELL.

COMPILED A LIST.

WE HAVE ABOUT 600.

>> THE FIRST WHICH I KNOW

YOU SAY THIS IS THE ONE YOU

GUEST THE-- GETth BEST

RESPONSE TO BETTE CROCKER

WHO FAILED TO RISE, THIS

MORNING.

>> RIGHT, DEAD AT 88, RICH

BUT NO LONGER MOIST.

>> OH, GOD.

>> YEAH, I KNOW.

THE ORIGINAL OBITUARY WHEN

WE STARTED WRITING THESE, WE

WANTED TO GET CATCHY

HEADLINES ON TOP OF THE FACT

THAT WE HAD TO WRITE THE

ACTUAL OBITUARY SO WHEN

PEOPLE SEE THAT HEADLINE IN

PARTICULAR THEY REALLY LIKE

IT BECAUSE OF COURSE IT

MAKES A REFERENCE TO THE

CAKE AND THE CAKE MIX.

THIS ONE I KIND OF LIKE

BECAUSE SHE WAS SO NASTY BUT

LUCY VAN PELT, FROM CHARLIE

BROWN, 65.

IT WAS AS YOU CAN IMAGINE A

FOOTBALL RELATED INJURY.

>> YEAH, YEAH, SHE WAS FOUND

IN HER OFFICE AND

UNFORTUNATELY THERE WAS A

FOOTBALL INVOLVED IN HER

DEATH AND YOU KNOW, IT WAS

UNFORTUNATE BUT YEAH, AND

THERE WAS, WE ACTUALLY

ORIGINALLY HAD A VIDEO

SECURITY CAMERA OF A YOUNG

MAN BALDING MAN WITH A SORT

OF A STRIPEY SHIRT LEAVING

THE SCENE.

>> YOU HAVE A PERSON OF

INTEREST.

>> BUT WE DECIDED THAT MAYBE

WE'LL LEAVE THAT UP TO

PEOPLE'S IMAGINATION.

>> AND THIS OTHER ONE

CERTAINLY MAKES SENSE AND I

FEEL LIKE ARE YOU MAKING A

SOCIAL STATEMENT HERE.

THE COPPERTONE GIRL DIED OF

CANCER.

>> YEAH.

SHE HAD UNFORTUNATELY

MELANOMA.

SHE WAS 45 BUT HER SKIN WAS

90.

>> SO NOW THERE WERE BELOVED

CHARACTERS THIS IS WHY WE

LOVE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

WE LOVE TO GO BACK TO MOVIES

LIKE STAR WARS.

NO MATTER WHAT AGE WE ARE NO

MATTER HOW OLD WE GET THEY

ALWAYS STAY THE SAME WHICH

IS WHY WE LOVE FICTIONAL

CHARACTERS AND THEN YOU GO

AND KILL SOMEBODY LIKE

CHEWBACCA Y DO THAT, WHY

TAKE THEM AWAY FROM US.

>> I THINK IN CHEWBACCA'S

CASE, HE WAS A LOT OLDER

THAN WE THOUGHT BECAUSE YOU

KNOW, WE DIDN'T HAVE REALLY

ANY TIME, IT WAS LIKE ONE OF

THOSE STAR DATE TIMES.

BUT WE BACKED UP AND

ORIGINALLY TOM AND I THOUGHT

LET'S JUST GO IN AND TRY TO

KILL OFF PEOPLE WE DON'T

LIKE.

>> LIKE?

>> WELL, ANY VILLAINS YOU

CAN THINK OF LIKE SNIDELY

WHIPLASH AND THEN WE LISTED

AS MANY VILLAINS AS WE COULD

FIND.

AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THERE

AREN'T THAT MANY VILLAINS IN,

THAT YOU WOULD KNOW BY NAME.

SO THE AXE MURDER AND

CHAINSAW GUYS DON'T REALLY

IS NAMES.

SO THEN WE BACKED UP AND

THOUGHT MUCH BELLER TO JUST

KILL OFF PEOPLE WE LIKE SO

CHEWBACCA.

BUT HE DID HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

HE ENDS UP RETIRING AND HE

MOVES TO GREASE AND HE WEARS

A SPEEDO.

YOU KNOW.

SO HE'S ALL RIGHT.

>> BUT AT THE SAME TIME ARE

YOU SORT OF ENTERING INTO

TERRITORY HERE LIKE WHAT WAS

THAT, NOT THAT YOUR BOOK IS

HORRIBLE IT IS FUNNY, BUT

THAT HORRIBLE MOVIE RETURN

TO OZ, WE HAVE THIS NICE EYE

DILL-- IDYLLIC IMAGE OF OZ,

AND THEN YOU SEE A HORRIBLE

MOVEY LIKE RETURN TO OZ THAT

DISRUPTS EVERYTHING.

ARE YOU TREAD NAG THAT

TERRITORY PUTTING CHEWY IN A

SPEEDO IN THE END.

>> THE THING IS THAT WE ALSO

WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HATCHED

TO THESE PEOPLE.

BECAUSE WE ONLY GET THE PART

OF THE STORY, YOU KNOW,

HOLDEN CALL FEEL FROM

"CATCHER IN THE RYE" THE

LAST TIME WE SEE HIM HE IS 1

YEARS OLD SO WHAT HAPPENS TO

THIS BOY.

AND HE GROWS UP AND HE

BECOMES THIS OLD MAN.

AND HE DIESING WELL, YOU'LL

SEE IN THE BOOK.

HE DIES IN AN AMUSEMENT PARK

IN A REALLY INTERESTING WAY.

BUT IT AGAIN, WE TRIED TO

FIND WAYS OF ACTUALLY

FOLLOWING THEIR STORY AS

OTHERS HAVE DONE, ACTUALLY

THROUGH HISTORICAL FIRST.

>> JUST A COUPLE QUICK

SECRETARIES LEFT.

HAS THERE BEEN ANY LEGAL

ACTION FOR THE CHARACTERS

YOU HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT.

>> NO, BUT WE ARE HOPING

THAT THERE WILL BE.

>> ANY PRESS IS GOOD PRESS,

RIGHT.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> BARRY NELSON, MR. ED

DEAD.

THAT IS THE BOOK.

JUST OUT NOW.

CONGRATULATIONS.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> ALL RIGHT THAT IS IT FOR

GREATER BOSTON.

A REMINDER TO TUNE INTO THE

NEW 89.7 WGBH AT NOON FOR

THE EMILY ROONEY RADIO SHOW.

FOLLOWED BY CALLIE CROSSLEY

AT 1:00.

COMING UP NEXT, STAY TUNED

AS THE SEMI-FINALS BEGIN ON

"HIGH SCHOOL QUIZ SHOW"

AND TOMORROW NIGHT EMILY IS

BACK TO DISCUSS A NEW BOOK

ON RISING-- RAISING A CHILD

WITH ASPERGER'S SYNDROME.

I'M JARED BOWEN.

GOOD NIGHT.