July 28, 2009 : A mother's dying wish

>> Jared: IN A MOMENT, AIDS TORE
APART A YOUNG FAMILY A YEAR AGO.
A NEW FILM REVEALS WHAT THE
DECADES HAVE DONE.
>> Jared: IN 1988, DAVID BINDER
BEGAN PHOTOGRAPHING A WOMAN AND
HER FAMILY.
IT WAS THE LAST YEAR OF HER
LIFE.
WHILE BEING TREATED FOR CERVICAL
CANCER, THE FATHER OF THE YOUNG
SONS CONTRACTED AIDS FROM A
BLOOD TRANSFUSION.
ABSENT ARE THE SMILES AND SPIRIT
HE FIRST PHOTOGRAPHED.
INSTEAD, BINDER FOUND A FAMILY
FRACTURED.
HERE IS A LOOK AT "CALLING MY
CHILDREN."
>> AT FIRST, IT WAS OK.
HE STILL WENT TO WORK EVERYTHING
AND BUT AS THE YEARS WENT ON, IT
STARTED GETTING BAD.
I REMEMBER EVEN WHEN SHE WAS
REALLY BAD, SHE WAS STILL -- SHE
WOULD STILL COME BACK AND TAKE
CARE OF THE FAMILY.
I THINK THAT GALE INTRODUCED ME
TO TRUE LOVE AND TO KNOW WHAT
LOVE IS ABOUT.
>> IN GALE'S ABSENCE, HER
FAMILY'S STRENGTHS DISINTEGRATED
AS WE SEE WITH HER SON KENNY NOW
IN THE HALFWAY HOUSE THE RESULTS
OF ALCOHOL ABUSE.
>> WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER, HE
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HIS MOTHER
DYING.
HE HATED THE WORLD LIKE DID I.
>> NO ONE COULD REPLACE HER OR.
MY FATHER HAD A COUPLE OF
GIRLFRIENDS.
IT WASN'T THE SAME.
NO.
I DIDN'T FEEL THE SAME LOVE.
>> THE FILM'S MOST DEVASTATING
SCENES WHEN FOR THE FIRST TIME,
GALE'S SONS READ THE LETTER
THEIR MOTHER HAD WRITTEN THEM
KNOWING SHE WAS DYING.
>> I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO REALIZE
AS OLDER BOYS YOUR MOTHER OFFICE
IS SICK FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.
I WISH -- MOTHER WAS SO SICK FOR
SUCH A LONG TIME.
I WISH I COULD HAVE HELP FOR
YOUR SCHOOL.
TRY TO REMEMBER ME AS A MOTHER
WHO CARED ABOUT YOU DOING WELL
FOR YOURSELVES.
THINK OF ME HAPPY, THINK OF ME
SMILING AT YOU.
WHEN TROUBLE HAPPENS, THINK OF
ME FOR STRENGTH.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
YOUR MOTHER.
>> AND FILMMAKER DAVID BINDER IS
HERE.
I HAVE TO SAY EVERY TIME I THINK
ABOUT IT OR WHEN I SAW IT I GET
CHOKED UP WITH TEARS BECAUSE
IT'S UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL.
BACK WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED
DOCUMENTING GALE, WHAT DID YOU
SEE IN HER CONSTITUTION THAT SHE
WAS ABLE TO KEEP HER FAMILY
TOGETHER WHEN SHE WAS SO ILL, SO
FRAIL EVEN PHYSICALLY?
>> SHE WAS REMARKABLE.
SHE WAS REMARKABLE IN THE WAY
ANY MOTHER KNOWING SHE IS NOT
GOING TO HAVE TIME LEFT WITH HER
FAMILY AND HER CHILDREN WHO SHE
JUST WAS DEVOTED TO AND LOVED SO
MUCH.
HER SPIRIT AND HER ENERGY
DESPITE THE SICKNESS AND THE
WEAKNESS WAS PROFOUND AND THAT
WAS A SENSE OF WHAT THIS STORY
IS.
IT'S A IT FAMILY DYNAMIC AND
THAT HER ENERGY ALLOWED HERSELF
TO BE PRESENT TO THOSE PRECIOUS
MORE MOMENTS SHE HAD WITH HER
CHILDREN.
>> Jared: YOU SAW IT INTIMACY
BECAUSE -- INTIMATELY BECAUSE
WHEN YOU SAW THIS PROJECT, YOU
WANTED TO DOCUMENT LIVING WITH
AIDS ESSENTIALLY.
YOU WERE WITH THE FAMILY EVERY
DAY UNTIL HER DEATH.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I SPENT THE LAST YEAR OF GALE'S
LIFE WITH THEM EVERY DAY.
FOR DIFFERENT AMOUNTS OF TIME.
A FEW MONTHS, MAYBE SIX MONTHS
LATER AFTER GALE TIED AS -- DIED
AS THE FAMILY ADD JUST TO LIFE
WITHOUT HER.
>> Jared: DID YOU HAVE A SINCE
IT WAS -- DID YOU HAVE A SENSE
THAT THE FAMILY WOULD END UP
LIKE IT DID?
ONE IN A HALFWAY HOUSE?
ONE SON MANY IMPRISONED AND?
>> NOT AT ALL.
WHO KNOWS WHAT ANY OF OUR LIVES
WOULD TRACK.
WHAT I KNEW AT THE TIME IS THEIR
KIDS WERE GOING TO BE WITHOUT
THEIR MOTHER AND THE FATHER
WOULD TRY TO MAINTAIN AS BEST
COTHROUGH THAT TIME AND THE KIDS
HAVE, YOU KNOW, PRO -- THE BEST
HE COULD THROUGH THAT TIME.
AND THE KIDS HAVE, YOU KNOW,
PROCESSED THIS LOSS THE BEST
THEY COULD THE YOUNGER ONE IS IN
PRISON.
THE OLDEST ONE WAS IN BOSTON
COLLEGE FOR A WHILE HE'S GOING
TO COMPLETE HIS COLLEGE
SOMEWHERE DOWN SOUTH, MAYBE IN
GEORGIA OR MARYLAND AND THE
TWINS, THE BABIES WHO AREN'T
BABIES ANYMORE, THEY'RE 22, UM,
KENNY IS NO LONGER IN THE
HALFWAY HOUSE.
HE GOT MARRIED A FEW WEEKS AGO.
BENNIE, HIS TWIN BROTHER IS
ENGAGED.
THEY'RE EXPECTING THEIR FIRST
CHILD AND THEY'RE 22 SO WHO
KNOWS WHAT WILL BECOME OF THEM?
YOU KNOW.
BUT, YOU KNOW, OUR LIVES TURN
OUT THE WAY THEY DO.
>> Jared: DO YOU HAVE A SENSE
WHY IT HAPPENED THOUGH?
THEY HAD SOME BENEFIT THAT HAS
CAME THEIR WAY AFTERWARDS, TOO,
WHEN YOU FIRST DID THE WORK AND
IT RAN IN A MAGAZINE, A PERSON I
BELIEVE IN KENTUCKY I THINK SAW
YOUR PIECE AND WAS SO MOVED BY
IT HE WANTED TO PAY FOR THEIR
EDUCATION.
THEY HAD PHILANTHROPY AT THEIR
SIDE AND STILL SOME OF IT JUST
WENT SO HORRIBLY AWRY?
>> SURE, WITH THAT MAN'S
GENEROSITY, THOUGH, FRANK HAS
BEEN ABLE TO GO TO COLLEGE AND
GOOD COLLEGES.
SO AGAIN YOU DON'T KNOW.
THE FAMILY DID THIS IN GALE'S
ABSENCE.
THOSE BONDS AND THAT GUIDANCE
WASN'T THERE FOR THEM.
THAT'S MOST FUNDAMENTALLY THE
ISSUE FOR THEM.
>> Jared: I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT
THE LETTER.
THERE WERE TWO LETTERS.
WE SEE HER PARTNER, HER HUSBAND
READ ONE LETTER AND THE BOYS
READ ANOTHER LETTER.
HOW DID IT COME TO BE THEY
DIDN'T KNOW THEIR MOTHER HAD
WRITTEN IT?
>> THEIR FATHER HAS DIFFERENT
OPINIONS ABOUT THAT RONALD JR.,
THE OLDEST, DOES REMEMBER THE
LETTER.
FRANK DOESN'T REMEMBER EVER
SEEING IT.
THE TWINS WERE SO YOUNG THEY
DON'T REMEMBER SEEING IT EITHER.
THEIR FATHER BELIEVES THAT THEY
DID SEE THE LETTER BUT THEY WERE
TOO YOUNG TO REMEMBER AND PART
OF HIS CONFLICTS IN BRINGING
THESE THINGS TO HIS KIDS IS WHEN
TO DO THAT AND HE THINKS HE MAY
HAVE SHOWN THEM THESE THINGS
WHEN THEY WERE TOO YOUNG.
SO FRANK JUST DOESN'T REMEMBER
SEEING IT.
>> WHY DID HE INTRODUCE IT NOW?
WAS IT A PART OF YOU BEING BACK
IN THEIR LIVES?
>> YEAH, I WASSA ACTUALLY
SHOCKED WHEN I WAS SITTING WITH
FRANK WHEN HE READ THE LETTER
THAT HE SAW HE NEVER SAW IT
BEFORE.
I WAS SURE HE HAD.
I WAS REALLY SHOCKED WHEN HE
RESPONDED THAT WAY.
>> Jared: WE SEE VERY, VERY RAW
EMOTION AS WE GET A SENSE OF IN
THE SET-UP PIECE NOW THAT SOME
TIME HAS ELAPSED, HOW HAS THAT
LETTER IN HER SENTIMENTS
RESONATED WITH THEM?
>> IT'S A GREAT TOUCH KNOWN FOR
THEM ALL.
AND IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE.
IT'S THEIR DEEP CONNECTION TO
THEIR MOTHER.
THAT'S FROM HER WORDS DIRECTLY
AND THEY KEEP IT VERY CLOSE.
>> AS I SAID THIS STARTED AS A
STORY ABOUT LIVING WITH AIDS BUT
TURNED INTO A STORY ABOUT GRIEF
AND LOSS.
WHAT'S SORT OF THE FUNDAMENTAL
STRAINS YOU NOW TAKE AWAY FROM
THIS STORY NOW THAT 20 YEARS HAS
ELAPSED?
>> UNIVERSAL STORY OF FAMILY AND
LOSS AND STRENGTH AND BOND AND
ALL FOUR OF THOSE BOYS'
CHARACTER HAS BEEN DEVELOPED
THROUGH THAT.
THEY'RE VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER
STILL.
THEY'RE CLOSE WITH THEIR FATHER.
THE WAY IT'S ALL PLAYED OUT, UM,
THEY JUST AREN'T THAT SORT OF
TIGHT FAMILY IN THE ABSENCE OF
THEIR MOTHER.
>> Jared: PART OF WHAT I THINK
REALLY WORKS ABOUT THE FILM IS
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A PHOTO
JOURNALIST SO YOU'RE USING YOUR
PICTURES AND IT REALLY STRUCK ME
THAT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE
ABILITY TO RELATE WHEN YOU SEE
PICTURES RATHER THAN JUST
STRAIGHT VIDEO BECAUSE YOU HAVE
MORE TIME TO LOOK AT THEM, MORE
TIME TO PROCESS THEM.
AND I'M WONDERING WHY IN THE END
IF IT'S NOT SIMPLY BECAUSE
YOU'RE A PHOTO JOURNALIST BUT
WHY YOU RELIED SO HEAVILY ON THE
PICTURES AND SO LITTLE ON VIDEO
FOR A FILM DOCUMENTARY?
>> SURE, AND THE VIDEO WE USE IS
VERY STILL VIDEO FOR THAT SAME
REASON ALLOWING IMAGES TO LINGER
AND PENETRATE OUR BRAINS.
IT HAS SORT OF A MORE POWERFUL
LONGEVITY IN CONNECTING AND THE
PHOTOGRAPHS, THE DIFFICULT THING
WITH INCORPORATING PHOTOGRAPHS
IS WEAVE THEM TOGETHER WITH THE
EMOTION THAT'S HAPPENING AND
BRING LIFE TO THEM AND NOT MAKE
THEM LOOK HISTORIC.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY VIDEO OF GALE,
YET I HOPE SHE'S GOT A VERY
STRONG PRESENCE IN THE ANIMATION
OF THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF HER THERE.
>> Jared: HOW'S THE FAMILY
RESPONDED TO THE FILM?
>> GOOD.
IT'S --
>> THEY'VE ALL SEEN IT?
>> NOT ALL YET.
THEY'RE ALL IN DIFFERENT PLACES
AND CONNECTING WITH THE KIDS WHO
AREN'T KIDS ANYMORE HAS BEEN A
CHALLENGE IN ITSELF.
>> Jared: DO THEY ALL WANT TO
SEE IT?
>> I THINK ONE OF THEM MIGHT BE
RELUCTANT.
IT'S A VERY DIFFICULT, EMOTIONAL
JOURNEY FOR THEM TO RECONNECT
WITH.
THEY'RE ALL REALLY, REALLY
WONDERFUL KIDS AND I KNOW THAT A
COUPLE OF THEM WILL BE AT THE
SCREENING AT THE FMA ON
SATURDAY.
IT'LL BE GREAT.
>> Jared: DAVID BINDER, THAT'S A
POWERFUL FILM.
CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> YOU CAN SEE "CALLING MY
CHILDREN" THIS SATURDAY AND
SUNDAY WHEN IT'S PART OF A
SCREENING AT THE ROXBURY FILM
FESTIVAL.