Sandwich Monday: Loose Meat Sandwich
Ian Chillag
Monday, September 24, 2012 at 2:26 PM
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The paper bag could not contain all the healthy eating within.

The paper bag could not contain all the healthy eating within.

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This week, we eat a sandwich that's like a burger, if the burger had exploded. Mmm. Meat pebbles.

Beware Pickpockets and Loose Meat.

Beware Pickpockets and Loose Meat.

NPR

This is what it's supposed to look like.

This is what it's supposed to look like.

NPR

Like a deer in the meatlights.

Like a deer in the meatlights.

NPR

Ian heard there was meat on the loose.

Ian heard there was meat on the loose.

NPR

We've all encountered loose change, loose teeth, and certainly loose-fitting pants, but only a lucky few of us have encountered the Loose Meat Sandwich. It's an Iowa classic that's basically like a hamburger, except the patty doesn't hold together at all. We picked up a couple from Maid-Rite here in Chicago.

Mike: The meat pebbles make it so much easier to fatten up those hard to reach parts of the body.

Leah: I think you have to have baleen to eat this properly.

Ian: This reminds me of the short-lived Meat Grape-Nuts.

Mike: Who made this burger, George Seurat? (That's a pointillist joke.)

Ian: I'm gonna wash this down with 200 molecules of hydrogen and 100 molecules of oxygen.

Eva: I'd like a refund, because I specifically asked for a thousand tiny buns.

Robert: I tried making these on my backyard grill. Man, what a disaster!

Eva: I think I might be suffering from amnesia, because it looks like I already ate this sandwich.

Ian: These are great if you have kids because if they wander off you can just follow their meat trail.

Robert: The saying "loose lips sink ships" saved countless service men and women during World War II. I think "loose meat you best not eat" could save even more lives.

[The verdict: A great sandwich if you want the ingredients of a hamburger without all the convenience and structural integrity.]

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